PS: As she saw the clock on the finish line going to 2 hour 19min, my very cool sister suddenly shouted:”2:20! Let’s go for 2:20!” And started to accelerate towards the finish. After keeping up with her for 13miles, it was just easier to kick in the sprint than to explain that this was 2:20 from the very start of the race, which was a few (indeed 12) min before we started… God love her.
Having spent most of my week in bed with the flu, do I feel ready? Probably not. Does that matter? Probably not.
Because tomorrow, come rain or shine ( probably rain) I will be starting at the O2 with my very cool sister. She actually has a real job, saving lives and has been training in her hours after work and in her free weekends. We decided not to run for a charity, just for ourselves: and she doesn’t even like running that much. She only signed up because I asked her to join me: because I needed a project to cling on to in my unorganised life; a life which at that point in time didn’t even have a proper postal address. So she used hers and last week the runners pack arrived there: timing chip, wristband and the optimistically short-sleeved shirt with starting number printed on the front. To be shown at all times.
Yesterday the rain and the cold came for real: my parents’ flight was delayed because of snow.
This morning my very cool sister suggested a long sleeve shirt underneath shirt option after tomorrow’s forecasted rain and wind. After initial hesitation (last-minute change, can’t cope!) I just tried on: it was the best idea ever.
Did I mention she doesn’t even like running that much?
She’ll be there. She’ll be running – so tomorrow, rain, snow, gales, full-blown fevers: I shall be running too.
As part of this October project, I went to a Case For Optimism meeting yesterday. In a previous post I expressed my concerns about it sounding a little “hippy-dippy” and I’ll honestly say I stepped outside my comfort zone yesterday.
Now, a few disclaimers first:
Firstly, I have a postgrad a Master degree in this hippy shit as some would brand it. I’m a pro at breathing exercises and the fact that I am this publicly reflecting on my work/career is still a trace of my alma mater’s reflective practitioner philosophy: I could wallpaper a family home and their garage with my reflections on this stuff.
Secondly, I wrote my thesis on “the importance of entertainment for the efficacy of sociopolitical theatre”, which was awarded with a first. (Not that it matters but I thought I’d squeeze that in there…) So I’m aware of possible creative responses to social/political issues and no matter where life has taken me since graduation: it is still something I very strongly believe in.
Back to matter in hand: the case for optimism workshop. They explain what they do on their website:
Case for Optimism events are spaces for cultural leaders and arts practitioners and those wanting to deepen their creative response to the interlinked challenges of the ongoing financial crisis, the end of the oil age and climate change. They are designed for people who want to find how they personally and collectively can respond best through their work.
As a writer, I went along for more the personal than the collective aspect. It was held in the ArtsAdmin building in a theatre studio: so I did notice some people without shoes but there were chairs in front of the projector for a Zero Carbon Britain presentation by the Centre of Alternative Technology. So far so good.
At first I was thrown by the man playing the flute but then he made a very solid case about the alarming state of the world’s fossil fuels and how this all intertwines with the dwindling economy. Helpfully he suggested a change in cultural/political attitude was needed: apparently the technology for more sustainable energy already exists, it’s just that the world’s monetary resources are prioritised elsewhere and for it to be a political issue – it needs to be society’s concern first.
Insightful and a quandary to get your teeth in.
But then: 4 steps of ‘your journey’ to this workshop, imagining a sustainable future, all concluded in an unsatisfactory group brainstorm. On posters around the room categorised from “Food and Growing”, ” Education” to ” Transport” and “Wellbeing, we had to write down ideas. Now, call me pragmatic but EVERYONE VEGETARIAN-NO MORE FARMS! is going to be tricky to implement on a grander scale.
There was one exercise from which a tangible idea could have formed, a project which could instigate some change and I ended up in a group that drew a chalk circle. Among inspired ideas of shared spaces to work, an opportunity for children to cook and eat together, a business venture that rented out roller coasters to adults, cooking classes that passed on dying arts like preserving to make the most of seasonal food – we had a chalk circle. Based on a psychology theory of Carl Jung.
My goal to find a bridge between ideas and the society it concerns by listening to their problems, was translated by the group (who ironically all claimed to have the goal of listening) into a metaphysical space. Here people could retract to ask questions and use it as a compass to find answers. Again, sceptical me but I doubt 80-yr old Mrs Jones from number four, who is struggling to pay for heating this winter will retract to this metaphysical circle for an extra blanket. Later a group-member confided in me, she found defying the rules of the exercise quite thrilling. I also noticed she placed her name sticker not on the usual place of the chest but on the hem of her shirt: what a rebel.
I’m not sure what I expected of the afternoon, it did indeed state ‘cultural leaders and arts practitioners’ not ‘policy makers and business executives’: I felt some frustration that while I was pushed out of my comfort zone, most of them were too comfy in theirs.
One of the closing questions asked was whether a Case for Optimism had thought about expanding their workshops to others, not so like-minded people, (“Houses of Parliament!” someone joked) The answer? No, because they would wait to be invited. Hm, I think the PM might be busy washing his hair underneath his wasteful power shower.
In any case, the person who asked the question got my attention enough to bee-line to him for a much-needed debrief in the nearest pub. I’m afraid to say I missed the performance scheduled at the end of the day, because I was too busy envying my new conversation partner’s pint over my (19 days down, 9 more to go!) non-alcoholic coke. That’s the drink not the drug: what a rebel.
12 days to go until the half marathon challenge. The lurgies are still about and the weather outside gets windier and wetter. This late in the game I decided to invest in a warmer running tights, as fit-levels can really not drop any further. Went for a test run just now and experienced wind tunnels underneath bridges and sweeping side winds on the open parts of my route. There is nothing as frustrating as running against the wind in the last couple of kilometers, while a group of semi pro looking runners speeds past you the other way…
Anyway I made it. I had to lie on the floor afterwards but I made it. Thus re-established that if necessary, bar actual loss of limb or an unfortunate bout of the Ebola virus, I’ll run this race on sheer will power alone.
First things first: I have a baby nephew! One week old today! Hoorah! After decades of fabulous female offspring: welcome to the world little man, you’re going to have an amazing time! I cannot wait to meet you 🙂
It’s been a good week, despite a bout of man-flu aka the common cold which got eased by a surprise text message from a friend. I probably hadn’t seen her for nearly a year, so had to check whether her joyous invite was indeed for me. It was.
She is one of those rare people who has the ability to team creative with commercial, or let’s say business, she’s not selling her soul. She seems to keep her integrity well through the many projects she does and more importantly she seems to be enjoying herself. This is something to aspire too, so apart from the usual catching up, we spoke about my desire to take this writing-marlarkey to a new level.
I see myself having two choices:
A) Find a way in to a creative enterprise and get to know the ropes and work towards my own writing.
B) Find a more commercial writing position and …
No wait, actually writing it down like this makes it very clear. In a perfect world I’d prefer Option A, I would prefer a non-perfect job in a perfect environment for growth.
Actually maybe creative enterprise is too generic. I would like to find a role in an enterprise that reflects my values and my passions. During our catch-up my friend asked whether I could define what I value, what I stand for if you like, I didn’t know what to reply. “Encouraging people who want change” seemed like such a naff thing to say. “Inspire optimism that life is what you make of it” made me reach for a bucket… So incredibly cheesey…but kind of true.
You see, this is my litmus test for life choices: every time I have to make a life decision, I wonder about my gorgeous nieces and now little nephew… “What choice would I want them to make?” I wish the best possible life for them, so why not for me? It is not about choosing the easy path or avoid disappointments, hell I would have chosen something else by now, but simultaneously let’s not make ourselves suffer because of some warped sense of martyrdom.
My lovely friend was an amazing soundboard and the next day she returned to me with this: http://caseforoptimism.org.uk/ People who look for a creative response to the troubles of our times, creative support during transformation. It does sound a bit hippy-dippy to me too yes, but this blog does have the subtitle: my own way to deal with the global doom and gloom. By a co-incidence there’s an event next week just around the corner from me… Hm, I’ll attend on Thursday and report back.
To Be Continued…
It has taken my body two days to realise that the pressure of last month was finally off. Easing into down-time mode, although I guess the weekend surrounded by friends with colds didn’t help either, and the lurgies have found me.
Currently just an annoying niggle in the throat, I am determined to overcome this. Down time it may be but a race still has to be trained for and run by the end of the month: being sick is not really an option right now body – sorry. What are the chances of me outrunning a bug?
In other news, before actually dealing with ‘the evaluation of life plan’ as intended this month, I decided to find myself the release valve first. An emergency stop if you like, when planning turns into over-analysing and subsequent panic. Running is one method but sometimes not physical but mental distraction is needed. Thus I decided to find myself a book: I can’t remember when I last finished one (Ballard’s Empire of the Sun still lies on the table after having been opened on numerous occasions and still not read.)
Being lucky enough to have ready access to quite a few books at the moment, it was hard to decide what to choose. It’s a bit like a meal in a restaurant: do you order what you know to like or do you try something new? I decided to compromise and choose a never read classic. Having set a month aside in the slow lane, the story could be a longer one ( something more than Animal Farm), yet not too daunting (the epic War and Peace), and it was not yet the time for another attempt at Catch-22. ( I usually don’t get further than p33, even though I really want to like the book.)
On the hunt for a story I know but never read, I found Dumas’ The Three Musketeers. If the recent film version was something to go by, it would put you off the book. However, there is a familiarity with the characters already (wasn’t there a cartoon of some kind?) and quite frankly the film made me want to read to book, so M Dumas could reassure me that it was not how he had meant to tell the story originally.
I have just finished the first chapter and already D’Artagnan amuses me, young and hot-headed I find him surprisingly easy to identify with… October, a whole month with a book as entertainment: even the lurgies cannot spoil that.
Six weeks have passed since my last post, aptly titled ‘Silence’. What can I say kids, I never promised you the world. Life happened and since this blog was supposed to roll with the punches, that’s what it did. WordPress apparently has changed interface since I last logged in. Well, will you look at that. September was filled with a playwriting project, a little melancholy, reflection and celebration over ten years gone and the beginning of autumn. Sharing all this with you would have seemed a little over-indulgent, even though a few years ago I would have happily wallowed in the drama.
Enfin, it is October now and having placed a drinking ban on myself this month to aid the half-marathon, that will be run on the 28th as part of the 12 Challenge project, I think this month should be positive reflection and active planning. I am in a good place and have quietly (haha, as if.) laid the foundations of the life I want to build. I think it is time to progress to a new level. This means setting goals and making plans. My personal preference is to write about it and share with you part that I choose because a) I’m more likely to keep to it if my plans are out there. b) you might have ideas that can help me achieve my goals.
So expect more updates this month, a little diversion from the original concept for this blog but I hope you don’t mind. In fact, if you do mind: just don’t read it – simples.
Day one of October project: Room overhaul. Symbolic as well as practical. It is the easiest way to create a good thinking space ( which triggered the picture suggestion I believe) : declutter the physical space and proceed from there.
Let’s put some music on and let’s go!